“Man is always seeking meaning.”
-Brian Smith
Finding Peace and Purpose In Grief
Brian Smith was faced with the unfaceable. He went to bed one night. The next morning, he went to rouse his fifteen year old daughter, Shayna, and she was dead.
“You go to bed one night, you’re living one world;
the next day you’re living in another world.”
How does a parent cope with such a terrible grief?
Shayna’s loss sent Brian on a spiritual quest. Since Brian was young, he’d always had a deep fear of death. That fear would lead him to explore near death experiences, looking for a greater meaning. As a chemical engineer by training, Brian’s queries took on a scientific, spiritual and philosophical perspective. He need to know, not just believe.
Brian works with others facing sudden, cataclysmic change at Helping Parents Heal. He also offers life coaching at www.grief2growth.com.
“It can happen to anyone anytime and there’s no reason to it.”
But humans like to have a reason for things, and diving into the unknown requires guidance. Through his consulting services Brian offers that guidance to other parents. His grief has been repurposed into helping others. Would he rewrite his story? Listen in to find out.
Bump In The Road:
Brian Smith On Finding Peace
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Navigating Grief
Grief looks different for everyone. Some avoid it; some get mired in it. There’s no “right” way to handle it. But here are a few things to consider.
- Feel your emotions. If you don’t allow them to express themselves, they will reappear in ways that may not be for your benefit. The Body Keeps The Score is excellent reading on how our emotions impact our health and our lives.
- Seek support: Find friends and counselors to help. Grief is one place where professional help and a supportive community can really help. You may want to look into seeking out grief counselors and groups on line.
- Make yourself a priority! Get some exercise, eat well, sleep well. You need to be at your best to manage the worst.
- There is no time frame. If some years later you’re still deep into grief, you may want to seek professional help to move beyond it. Be patient, but also be aware of how you feel and how you’re managing things.
- Find ways to honor your loved one. You can create a tribute, write a letter, or participate in a charity event in memory of your loved one. Remembering is part of healing.
Here are two guests from Bump In The Road that have been through the grieving process. Each handled it differently. Each eventually found a way to use the event to change their lives to benefit themselves and others.
Julie Zarifeh: Grief On the Run
“I’m kinder, don’t sweat the small stuff, more motivated, optimistic and realistic at the same time, to realize that life isn’t predictable.”
Eric Hodgdon: Living Beyond Grief
“Imagine if you could be empowered by your struggles to truly live with purpose and intention.”
Brian Smith On Grief and Growth
“We see people out and walking; don’t these people realize the world has changed?”
“Forgive fully. Forgiveness is about yourself. “
“When you go far enough and you realize you’re nothing, you realize you’re everything.”
“First the universe taps you on the shoulder, then it hits you over the head.”
“All the answers are within.”
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